So lets take the time to wipe the blood away,

Whispers Hello, I miss you quite terribly.

my mind is still as clogged up but things are a little more bearable now since i choose not t care. when you stop caring, you stop feeling on the whole. numb, a pretty good feeling for me right now.

And now that I'm strong, I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'd be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
history does repeat itself, fucking over and over. i'm always setting myself up for disappoinment. i always end up on the losing end, hanging on for dear life like a fucking fool. so use me as you will, i've been there like a million times before. but i am still trying, don't you see it?

Your lips say that you love, your eyes say that you hate

Yay we saved the earth today. Shall leave this space stagnant for a little while, need to clear my head. Bye bye world, hope you rot in hell haha teenage angst.

ps: HAHAH O-M-F-G win already la omg forget ittttttttttttttttt :O

Can you take it all away, this pain you gave to me?

This is me, way below rock bottom. If you want me to disappear, don't you think I want myself to disappear too from the world? If you can't stand me being like this, do you think I can stand myself either? You have no idea, my friend, no idea. I don't give a flying fuck anymore.

And I tried to create this whole support system in school but I already had the best, in Crescent. But the 2 people in IJ, that have been keeping my head up and keeping me from drowning, are Yiqi and Nadia and I honestly thank them for being so patient with me. Khalie's text made me realise how I'm not the only one hurting here and I'm sorry Khalie. I need to get out of here, far far away from here.

Don't say you'll be there for me when you don't have the slightest intention to.

I'm tired of letting my guards down just to be walked all over.

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Can't believe I'm missing floorball camp. Floorball is the only thing that I look forward to in school. But I can't fucking fight this, don't you get it? (At the end of the day, what does strong get you?)

Until the day I die, I'd spill my heart for you

Please forgive my coldness, unfriendliness and the total lack of enthusiasm for the past few days. I'll be fine soon I hope. And don't ask me what's wrong, I don't have an answer for you. School has been horrible, it's taking a toll on all of us, I wonder how one can get through the day without at least one can of coffee. And it has been pretty demoralising too, failing tests after tests and it's not like the borderline kind of marks plus PW has started oh god please save us haha. Floorball too has been pretty demoralising, my stamina sucks, my speed sucks, my stickwork sucks and I'm one blur block when we play games but nevertheless I still enjoy going for trainings cause of all the floorballers they are all very entertaining and they keep my mind of horrible thoughts. Floorball camp tomorrow, I should really start packing. Oh now I don't have sleeping bag haha shit.

And thank you Yiqi for being so understanding and tolerating all my nonsense and especially enduring all my moodswings haha love you (:

Sigh, livejournal, livejournal. And honestly, what is it with people and assumptions? That's just me being a good friend, get off my case damn it.

And you're pushing all this back in my face

as hard as it is for you t believe, this is me trying. you should realise by now how incapable i am of showing my true emotions or for that matter, t show my emotions on the whole. like i said before, it may seem as if i don't bother, i don't care but trust me, i care and bother a hell lot. i'm sorry please don't be mad anymore <3

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can't believe school already started but nevertheless i had an awesome awesome break i swear, meeting up with old pals and floorball trainings :) school started out alright i guess, finally saw yiqi omg i miss her!! and we caught up and gossip and updated each other about things haha love her :) things were relatively okay until after gp lecture bloody hell i shan't elaborate here omg my blood boiling already! hahaha omg and like okay fine the math teacher wasn't so bad she was still v nice and all t me eventhough i didn't do my work and she told me t face the wall hahaha together with judah omfg i'm so damn lost in math. bio really takes the cake this time omg i was so freaking pissed off like W-T-F man. and i was like texting PL and nicole and complaining and whining t them about the bio teacher hahahahaha gahhhhhhh. anyways omggg i love t finish up my work in school like at night and stuff because when i reach home straight after school i will surely definitely sleep and not finish up my tutorials so i shall stay back in school from now on t finish my work hahah yay i shall be a good girl omg sigh can't keep failing tests and shit GAHHH

and now i'm freaking distracted. like i've t finish one week's worth of malay homework by like tonight?! and i haven't even started hahaha omg hate mother tongueeeeee!